If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
「 dancing away Thursday, May 07, 2009 」


shifted to everbrighter.blogspot.com :)


Saturday, January 03, 2009
「 dancing away Saturday, January 03, 2009 」


there she laid, she laid
wondering if it was a dream or reality played
there she daze, she daze
tearing in the jaws of the pagans
she yearns to be saved

there she frozed, she
frozed
consumed by the strange fire that diseased the soul
there she wrestled, she wrestled
thirsting for comfort & found rest in thy breast

Beelzebub as he was condemn
is it thou fortune not
strangely sweet stench lingers
o'er the decay of thy broken flesh

Perverse satisfaction consumed thee
As the wounds exposed
Near the fiery lake are thee?
Shall prince's mercy lavish thee?

She foundth pleasure
But Damn the soul
Betrayed by passion
sold her soul

Won her over
Captive her sweet flesh

Soul was damn
fortune with her
goddess lebos was won o'er to her

slave to lebos
unlawfully slaved!

remember thy master
remember thy love

remember his breast
remember his caress

forget not his sweet whisper
forget not his kisseth

Away from lebos!
Away my love!

In the wilderness with coyote
is more fortunate than being her slaves
death ends the pain
but damn lebos cage thy soul

where is thy master
where is thy love?

Most unfortunate
unfortunate not


Monday, December 29, 2008
「 dancing away Monday, December 29, 2008 」


I've never really appreciated his presence. In fact, Im guilty of the fact that sometimes I tell my buddy about how irritating and proud he is... until he told me he is thinking of leaving just now. All of the sudden, I feel a sense of loss. Cannot imagine that he may not be around anymore. Suddenly I feel so sorry for him. I just want to help him to stay.


Sunday, November 09, 2008
「 dancing away Sunday, November 09, 2008 」


arghhh.. im so confused. feel like an idiot. what should i do?

To be or not to be, that is the question.


Thursday, October 09, 2008
「 dancing away Thursday, October 09, 2008 」


hm.. have been feeling pretty emo lately.. was feeling very numb and hard all these while actually. was wondering about a lot of things. what's my purpose here? why am I doing all theses? why am I NOT doing all these? am I finding excuses or I really see something's not working? can I go against my belief or conscience? do i love myself? do I hate myself? do i know what I am doing? I'm confused. I was a zombie.

I tot I knew it all, or at least what I wanted, or least who I am. then boss asked me, in fact fired me lots of questions that for the first time in a loonngg time, I began to doubt myself GREATLY. As in.. well.. example, one occassion boss said: are u sure ur a leader type of person? I really doubt ur a D and I person. Think something wrong with the personality test.

well.. I did similar kind of personality test 2001 times before and the results were rather consistent.. but i, even i, am beginning to doubt. maybe i have changed. maybe i have lost it. dunno.

back to where i said i was numb, i was like robot running on autopilot. then suddenly, out of nowhere, someone i didnt expect, puncture a hole on that wall by asking me some innocent questions, n now.. I'm feeling cracks. I'm feeling vulnerable. like suddenly.. i starts to feel again.. feel emo again.........
great. now i can feel depress and lost sense of my direction huh. argh.
just one year ago i tot that was the lowest point. haha, guess what? it broke the resistant line. now im like the wall street market, crashing like nobody's business, free falling. at least wall street has rules now tt u cant naked sell in time like this, I still have no 'government' now. hais. where r u my goverment? I hope this is the bottom of the trend already. well, i pray so.

just in the mist of all the pressure from all sides, in my ultra emo mode, i happened to watch this forgotten great movie in my american civilization class( i wonder why they bothered to call it a civilzation when.... *censored by bush administration*) Akeelah and the Bee. Cried tons. is the movie that touching? or I was finding an excuse to let out? anyway, there's this quote that really capture my mind, my soul, my spirit and whatsoever... and here it is:



Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Marianne Williamson

amazing stuff huh? i'm not quite sure if i'll 'breakout' but i have decided that from now on, i'm gg to live, breathe, eat and think these words until it becomes part of me.

how bad can things be if it doesnt work yar? it already down the 10,000 line. who cares if it break the 9,000, 8,000 line.. even if it hits 0, it aint go negative.

ignore my figurative technical terms if u dont understand. nope, i have no gone bizarre. nope, not car accident that knock my head off tt i began to have weird habits of speaking in Greek. just some financial lessons that i have learn. trying to put into practice since i paid for much for it. making my money worth well =)


Tuesday, October 07, 2008
「 dancing away Tuesday, October 07, 2008 」


I don't feel like giving a damn anymore.. can I? All these sucks man


Tuesday, July 22, 2008
「 dancing away Tuesday, July 22, 2008 」


I cried on the bus today. I cried while walking home. I'm crying at 3.25am right now. I'm sooooo freaking angry. so upset. My dream is on the verge of bursting. We agreed on so many things. On the verge of getting the place. And just of cos of one stupid supper club, everyone's backing up. Nobody's thinking that it will work, but me. I dunno, I just know it will work, why cant you guys see it? Am I really too optimistic? Or just that I have the guts you don't have? Why bother telling me you want the alternative, want to be different in the first place? Why bother telling me your interested in my concept? Just because they are opening, just because they are a big name in the western world, does that mean you must give up without even a fight? Why did you said it's impossible without even thinking of what will make it possible? I freaking hate working with wimps. I've seen too many. ARgGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHH
I will still try to make it happen whether you're in it or not.
now, without money, without support, without experience. What can I do?

What should I do.........

now, nobody should say the word impossible or cannot be done or any freaking bloody word that's along this line to me over the next few days, I can't promise that I won't screw you up.

I sooo feel like spilling colourful language all over the place....

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