If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.: December 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
「 dancing away Saturday, December 22, 2007 」


What lies behind us
And what lies before us
Are tiny matters
Compared to what lies within us



-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Monday, December 17, 2007
「 dancing away Monday, December 17, 2007 」


To think that I care so much for them, they act like bloody B*ST*RDS. I wanted to love you, why must u force me to hate u?? Is it worth it for me to reduce myself to a fool? I really dunno.. I hope this payoff. I really do


Thursday, December 13, 2007
「 dancing away Thursday, December 13, 2007 」


Why did these tears take so long to roll down my cheek..
It's years too late, way too late.
Utterly hate the insensitive of my nerves.
Dreamt of him last night that he came by my side even when I was pushing him away.
He seems like another part of me I didnt know, he seems to know my heart.
He came by my side and hugged me gently.
A kick of joy, a pinch of sadness, a little comfort, a great deal of pain.
Because I was delighted that I finally realised how much I have loved him.
Because I realised that it is a hateful mistake far too late to redeem.
I saw myself crying in his arm, and I felt his heart ache and heard his crying in his chest.
I wish that the moment will pause forever. It felt so real, so real that I'm still have not waken to reality. No, I don't want to wake up. How foolish of me. Suddenly I miss him so much. But it's far too late to redeem.
The first time in so many years, I shed the first tear for him.
Maybe because my heart was hard. Maybe because I was too selfish to appreciate. Maybe we are just not mend for each other. But I regret for not leaving this a beautiful memory for you. I regret for not leaving one left sweet kiss. I regret that this is only a dream. I regret missing your sweet whisperings. I regret missing you.
Do you miss me too? Hope so and hope not. Because Im still yearning for you but I dont want you to be in the same pain of missing somebody you can never get back.
I hoped that you have forgiven me, I hope that you no longer hate me.
I wish that I could turn back time. I wish to be adored by you one last time.
Why didnt you believe me that it is you and only because it's you that I fall in love?
Why did you think that I only wanted to hurt you?
Given one more chance it will still be you and never him.
Given one more chance it will still be you and not your wealth or the pals.
Even if it was a mistake loving you, it was, it is, and it will still be a beautiful mistake.
Given one more chance, I will still choose you.
Even if it will not work out, I will never regret loving you.
I only regretted that I have never told you how much I have loved you.
At least you are the purest of all that I've met.
I miss your pure gazing I miss your sweet voice.
I miss your chidlish whinning during phone calls.
Sadly we didnt have a good ending.
An embarassing ending in fact.
Still I want you to know that
I did love you
very much
It wasnt like what you were told.
Love you.