If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
「 dancing away Saturday, October 21, 2006 」


hmm.. i dunno, i mean.. im not feeling good right now.. neither am i feeling lousy.. u know.. its like.. no feeling.. its just weird. u know, no climax, no low point.. and the day just went by.
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indeed, communication is the key.. after talking to u, i realise.. well, im quite a fool huh.. i mean, hey, i know i have my fault too.. but now, i realise.. ur not who i think u are..
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i asked what had happened to our friendship? u said, well, nothing wrong, u treated everybody the same, u cant see the problem.. alright, i get it. im just wondering why u always ask if we are good friends. so much about being good friends. i get it. sorry that i have expected too much. sorry that i have been naive to think that, well, good friends can expect more. and so, i am 'everybody' to u.. sure, u treated everybody the same and fairly. how noble. yar.. i dunno about u.. but i have a different definition of good friends.
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to you: call me when u need me, dont expect me to know you have a problem. no problems, no calls.
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to me: i love it when we can call each other all the time bcos, i just enjoy chatting with u, with or without problems, we chat about anything under the sky. but bcos my mum is naggy about me using homephone, u know, im sorry u got to call instead of me calling out most of the time.
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my theory: i dont expect my good friends to know what i like or hate all the time, but i expect them to ask and find out. and i expect myself of doing the same too.

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aparrently, im asking too much. u said that, 'hey, im not God, i cant read ur mind.' of cos u cant, that's y i expected communication., but.. it didnt seem impt to u.. also.. u mean, i have to specifically instruct u on how to treat me? and write down and 10commandments of yating? ? do i have to? or the 101 ways to make sure yating knows ur her good friend? do i really have to??
hmm.. maybe..? but i have decided that.. i cant be bothered since now that we know we have different expectations and u dont seem to agree with my point at all.. i guess.. its ok. yes, we are still friends yar.. no worries. and friends we will remain. it's just that maybe, we are never good friends meant to be.
yes, i will manage my expectations.. we are just people from different world. u r systematic. i am emotional. and maybe, like u think, im too sensitive. cant help it, im born a woman.
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seriously, i do think that i am at fault too. im sorry that i didnt tell u earlier, i mean, i really have problem being straight forward to u. and i know u have problem understanding me.. so, im sorry. just dont ever ask me about are we good friends or close friends or whatever if u dont know what it means in yating's dictionary. yar, please dont.
dont worry, im not upset with u anymore:) im glad that i have a better understanding now.. u still can call me when u need me, i'll be there.. i'll still do my best to be a friend to u.
but frankly, do know that, dont expect me to open myself up to u anymore. sorry, for this, i just cant.
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hey, was chatting to a mother earlier on and in the middle of it:
the mother: i hate to go but i need to do some laudrey.
me:laudrey? poor thing.. well, u have to answer to your divine calling mother so and so. thank God I dont have to touch those stuff. LOL
the mother:girl.. SOMEDAY.. someday it will be your turn.*jealous*
me: o well, I won't, I'll make sure my kids and my husband do the job.
the mother: you do have alternative though, there are such commercial service provided everywhere.. just that it cost a bit more.
me: well, i have a better idea.. I'll probably throw the kids in the washing machine for a spin. 1) the clothes are washed. 2) the kids get cleaned up. 3) free entertainment for them! i'll save some money and they wont disturb me the rest of the day.. probably, they will be probably vomit after the ride and go to bed. :D
the mother: laughing off her head
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tell me im smart :)
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o, i was telling meow that maybe i'll start writing stories on the blog. she sugguested me to write sad, morbid stories that will make people cry their trousers off. though im quite good at that.. but i thought, i rather make people laugh yar? so.. maybe, i'll write some crappy stories.. that will be a good headstart for my future carreer. or maybe i'll writing about inspiring stuff? i dunno, but most likely they will be in series. see how it goes.. :D
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emil's so nice, he's such a gentleman today, usually ask him to carry things, he will like, carry urself la( though in the he will still carry for me). today, he didnt complain while i asked him to carry my guitar the whole day. and after our dinner, he waited for me to get on the bus before he takes the train(he has nv done that). how nice of him.. gee. hey, it's good to see such good change in u=)
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and o yar, william sheldd is so fARNI.. go see his clips on. youtube. i mean, he's really lame and gay. but i have to admit that he is really talented and charasmatic.