If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.: April 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
「 dancing away Tuesday, April 22, 2008 」


http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=rpmjdtaNWrqMRVe-GP-AAADD-8f7e&u=b6dd2d6639ef




Ha ha.. other personality test. Quite true. But I don't quite agree with the part when it says I'm more masculine (O well.. Maybe.. ) :/ N hey, I'm more spontaneous than that.




Even though I cannot understand almost anything she said until Pastor summarised it, I totally enjoy just watching her preach, I totally enjoyed myself in her presence. Bcos Pastor Kim carries the presence of God. She already carries such great presence of God, cant imagine what it will be like when she and her husband come visit us one day. Cant wait for that day to arrive. She knows the Holy Spirit. Can tell by just looking at her. U can feel it. How precious. By the end of the service, I'm almost kneeling and crying out for more presence of God.

Have heard so many people talk about Holy Spirit, some are friends and even CGLs. But sometimes, the more I hear them talk, the more frustrated and disgusted I feel.
"O.. God's presence is in this place.., Holy Spirit is here right now.."

shut up.

They don't even speak out of faith but religious routine. And please, people can tell if God is with them.

Went for a make up cell recently, the person talks a lot about prayer and Holy Spirit. It was ok initially but after awhile, u can feel that it became religious. The leader rebuked and criticised people for not praying, stretched the whole 3hrs just emphasizing the consequences of not praying.
Didn't the bible says Words in excess is sin?

That person was still proud that the meeting ended so late. The last time I check, the Jesus in the bible speaks simple and powerful words. He hardly has to keep repeating Himself. But Satan always repeat the exact words and ways to perform the same purpose: to destroy mankind and de-glorify God. Jesus never focus on the adverse consequences, He always gives hope, and He demonstrates by example in power and in truth.

I totally hated it when people talk so much about God and Holy Spirit when they don't know Him, or even worse, didn't even realise that God has left the meeting. And I didn't pretend that I enjoyed the meeting. I was so upset that I left the place quickly after everything ended. Please don't pretend that u know the Holy Spirit when u don't ok? I have learnt over the years that I'm not here to please man but really God.

If u think I'm nasty, too bad. I can't pretend. Really, I will not compromise my standards to such low level. It's either God or people. I've compromised to many times in the past, I'm not going to allow others incompetency and flakiness to block my path. Like Abraham, I got to let go of Lot.

O... there's another issue that frustrated me too. But cant talk much about it cos if I mention it, everybody will know what I'm talking about. Anyway, Albert Einstein said it right, to keep repeating the same actions and expecting different results is insanity. I'm still considering should I just smoke through and 'wayang' with the insanes.

Ok.. I think I drifted too far away.. I really love Pastor Kim, hope she will come back again. If I have the money, I will go to their bible school one day. And yes, I really long for more of the Holy Spirit now. Still remember all the miracles He has done in my life. I desire to have such intimacy like what we used to have. Nope, I mean I wanted much more.

After so much hard work and hiccups, finally our business is picking up. So happy, not just about the profit but the fact the business is growing. So happy to see regular customers coming back and enjoying our pasta. There's this lady who bought two plates of spaghetti last week and then come back for two more take aways. Yesterday, she was back again for 3plates of spaghetti. It was over my expectation, business was so good that we sold out two times. Even CY was shocked when I told him. There's also a particular customer who always wipe out all our spring rolls. And she told me the prawn balls were terrible. I totally agree with her and appreciated her comments. Without truthful comments like that, we cant never improve. Yea, and have a hard time with the supplier, tried to cheat our money. Think that we are noobs and gave us all the nonsense. Thank God I studied business law, know how to deal with him. And thank God that I manage to find a much better supplier so quickly. Their food is much better even though it's a little more expensive.

It is so interesting watching the same people coming back every week, just to buy nacho fries, spring rolls or spaghetti. And it's more interesting to watch how the business grow and the satisfied faces of the customers. It is like watching your own baby growing up. Of cos, it's not perfect, some of the foods we are still trying to improve. And now I'm working on how to improve the taste of the spaghetti even better. Hopefully, it can be so good that I can open a restaurant selling just it one day.

It has been really tiring. Can u imagine, a late night person like me laid almost dead on my bed last night before midnight? And I slept all the way thru 12pm today. Not for the phone call by cy regarding the nasty supplier at 12plus, I bet I'll still be sleeping. Anyway, I fall back into my bed at 4plus pm again and sleep thru till almost 8pm. Ha ha.. imagine the work I have been doing. But its all worth it. :)

O.. and special thanks to people who have came to support, especially all my cg members, Elly, Ryan, Dom, Clement, BingXun etc. There's too many people to thank but really these few people made my day. I mean, we didn't really advertise or go around telling cos we thought it isn't really nice, some people may even misunderstand(which did happen). I was really happy about our biz and wanted to tell many people really , just like u have a new baby yar? But o well, I realise I cant do just that and have to suppress my joy. So sorry if u feel offended or think that I didn't want to inform any of u if u r reading this now. The truth is I almost wanted to tell the whole world. But like wat I said, something happened that convinced me that maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. And yea, it was really nice of Clement to come back to buy our food again even when his first attempt(our first day) was not such a good experience. Btw, I didn't even inform him about our stall. It was really nice of him to do that. This is who u call a friend.

And yea, I can forsee many great things to come, I can feel it in my spirit. So can I forsee the pressures ahead.. these two weeks I'm having exams. And my first paper is in two days time.. And I havent even touch my law notes! God be with me, and Lord please see me through.


Thursday, April 17, 2008
「 dancing away Thursday, April 17, 2008 」


It was just a drive. The journey from my home to vivocity changed my life. Not like literally. But the talk with my aunt humbled me. I thought I knew it all. In a way, she maybe a great influence in my life without me even knowing. Loud, cheerful, daring, wise, smart, gorgeous, have many kids, live in a big house, has a great husband who may not be very understanding but still a wonderful man.

I thought I knew it all. From the surface, in a sense, from what I see, I didn't really wanted the kind of life they have. It wasn't the ultimate best that I'm longing for. This usually loud, hilarious, or even crazy aunt start talking serious issues with me. We even get into the topic of the wisdom of desperate housewife. It was a heart to heart talk. Or rather, I was listening. And was really touched. Tried very hard to control my tears.

She was worried the conversation we had is too mature for me, that I will start thinking like an old person. She doesn't has to worry. I'm already abnormally 'mature' in the way I think. I'm not boasting or anything. Or rather, it's a confession. Sometimes, it's good to be more farsighted and wise. Other times, ignorance is bliss. I feel good when I know of things others don't understand. But it's miserable when there's no one to share with, not even mentioning to even understand what you're talking about. It makes you feel lonely sometimes, because other just don't understand why you have to do things certain way. Sometimes, by the time you understand, it's too late. So I either got to make a stand or compromise. And I hate to compromise, really. Unfortunately, there are too many compromisers around, make me really tired. I don't them, at least some of them. Because some of them don't even know that they are compromising. Or they are too blinded by current situation. I really don't blame them, I been through it myself. But some are stuck there forever. To put it in uglier words, MOST people are stuck for almost forever. How sad. Really sad.

I really want to help others see the bigger picture, not that I'm any better or what. I'm learning too. But I guess I'm slightly ahead to be able to help a little but it's so hard. When you confront people with their issues, weaknesses, or even fears, u can be sure to get all sort of reactions. Most commonly, u will get frustration and be ridiculed.

I hate it when people just throw their temper at you, not for something u have even done wrong(it's not even right in the first place) but bcos of their frustration at themselves and stuff like that. It's bloody unfortunate to meet people like that. And I just met one not too long ago. And i didn't expect (maybe I did) this person to be so emotionally weak. I haven't been so angry in a long time and congratulation, you did it. Disappointed, I wonder what your future will be like. I really wonder.

Anyway, back to my aunt. Really, I totally changed the way I look at her after the talk. I used to respect her. But now, I respect her even more. She told me of the little wisdom she sees in everyday life. She taught me a lot about business and ethics. She told me a side of her husband and I didn't know(the good side of cos). Just a random tot, I thought it's really sweet when her husband will try to meet her out for lunch or even a quick bite just to see her, despite of his busy schedule. He's one of the elite property agent and travel on regular basis worldwide to give talks and seminar. I'm really touch and impress by he's initiative to make the marriage work. I always thought he is a prideful person who hardly talk to us. But I always respect a eager learning man who is open minded and set his priorities right.

I cant wait to go out with her soon. (actually, I go out with her almost everyday now.. ha ha). Sometimes u just got to be urgent and seize every moment to be with people like that. It's not always easy to find such wise people to talk to you. Never take anyone around u for granted, u never know who will be the next say something that will change your life... if you are willing to receive it.

I love wisdom. Because wisdom gives u a glimpse of the future. A glimpse of you're potential. Thank God for hearing my prayers. Thank God for putting wise people around me. Thank God for opening my eyes and ears to wisdom. Lord, you say in your word those who lack wisdom shall ask from you. Lord, I'm not satisfied, I want to grow more in your wisdom every single day.


Friday, April 11, 2008
「 dancing away Friday, April 11, 2008 」


Somebody was advising me on business. I was telling her a bit of the rough patches and frustration I went through. She told me that business partnership is like a marriage. You must be understanding, must put in a lot of commitment, dedication and effort to make to work. And never do anything out of a moment of anger. The thought of it was a little scary. Marriage. I felt a little guilty and frighten after hearing what she said as I almost did the unspeakable, I almost pronounced the 'D' word to our business venture. Fortunately, my partner did the right thing while I spoke the wrong words. In fact, I'm pretty impressed by my partner's radical change after the intense conversation we had on Sunday. I didn't dare to ask why the sudden change though. But I cant forget the expression on your face that day, which touches me and freaks me out a little at the same time. Anyway, I knew and I'm glad I chose the right partner.


Saturday, April 05, 2008
「 dancing away Saturday, April 05, 2008 」


Today marks another important phrase in my life. I don't know how others see it, but to me, this small stepping stone is a very important one. It may kill the next Goliath. I know this is a God given purpose to me and no one's going to stop me.

God is with me, whom shall I be afraid?

Even if everyone didn't believe in me. Even when others give up. Lord, help me never ever give up my destiny in you.



Tuesday, April 01, 2008
「 dancing away Tuesday, April 01, 2008 」


Watched an old movie on Saturday night. Was feeling a little lazy, didn't wanted to move so I watched the trashy show. It turned out to be not as trashy as I thought it would be (Shall not mention the title as it's quite vulgar). In fact, it was quite an inspiring old show. I even teared. Maybe cos of the dramatic ending, maybe it's a revelation. Anyhow, I felt great after watching.

quotes from the movie:
It may be a dead end in front but hope is just round the corner.
New born babies are the happiest being around because they are born pure without any evil intend.
Your fate is not controlled by events, human or 'luck', it's in your own hands.


My personal revelation:
Love is understanding.
Indeed, one encounter can change a person's entire destiny.
Everyone has a purpose and destiny within them that's larger than reality.