If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
「 dancing away Thursday, April 17, 2008 」


It was just a drive. The journey from my home to vivocity changed my life. Not like literally. But the talk with my aunt humbled me. I thought I knew it all. In a way, she maybe a great influence in my life without me even knowing. Loud, cheerful, daring, wise, smart, gorgeous, have many kids, live in a big house, has a great husband who may not be very understanding but still a wonderful man.

I thought I knew it all. From the surface, in a sense, from what I see, I didn't really wanted the kind of life they have. It wasn't the ultimate best that I'm longing for. This usually loud, hilarious, or even crazy aunt start talking serious issues with me. We even get into the topic of the wisdom of desperate housewife. It was a heart to heart talk. Or rather, I was listening. And was really touched. Tried very hard to control my tears.

She was worried the conversation we had is too mature for me, that I will start thinking like an old person. She doesn't has to worry. I'm already abnormally 'mature' in the way I think. I'm not boasting or anything. Or rather, it's a confession. Sometimes, it's good to be more farsighted and wise. Other times, ignorance is bliss. I feel good when I know of things others don't understand. But it's miserable when there's no one to share with, not even mentioning to even understand what you're talking about. It makes you feel lonely sometimes, because other just don't understand why you have to do things certain way. Sometimes, by the time you understand, it's too late. So I either got to make a stand or compromise. And I hate to compromise, really. Unfortunately, there are too many compromisers around, make me really tired. I don't them, at least some of them. Because some of them don't even know that they are compromising. Or they are too blinded by current situation. I really don't blame them, I been through it myself. But some are stuck there forever. To put it in uglier words, MOST people are stuck for almost forever. How sad. Really sad.

I really want to help others see the bigger picture, not that I'm any better or what. I'm learning too. But I guess I'm slightly ahead to be able to help a little but it's so hard. When you confront people with their issues, weaknesses, or even fears, u can be sure to get all sort of reactions. Most commonly, u will get frustration and be ridiculed.

I hate it when people just throw their temper at you, not for something u have even done wrong(it's not even right in the first place) but bcos of their frustration at themselves and stuff like that. It's bloody unfortunate to meet people like that. And I just met one not too long ago. And i didn't expect (maybe I did) this person to be so emotionally weak. I haven't been so angry in a long time and congratulation, you did it. Disappointed, I wonder what your future will be like. I really wonder.

Anyway, back to my aunt. Really, I totally changed the way I look at her after the talk. I used to respect her. But now, I respect her even more. She told me of the little wisdom she sees in everyday life. She taught me a lot about business and ethics. She told me a side of her husband and I didn't know(the good side of cos). Just a random tot, I thought it's really sweet when her husband will try to meet her out for lunch or even a quick bite just to see her, despite of his busy schedule. He's one of the elite property agent and travel on regular basis worldwide to give talks and seminar. I'm really touch and impress by he's initiative to make the marriage work. I always thought he is a prideful person who hardly talk to us. But I always respect a eager learning man who is open minded and set his priorities right.

I cant wait to go out with her soon. (actually, I go out with her almost everyday now.. ha ha). Sometimes u just got to be urgent and seize every moment to be with people like that. It's not always easy to find such wise people to talk to you. Never take anyone around u for granted, u never know who will be the next say something that will change your life... if you are willing to receive it.

I love wisdom. Because wisdom gives u a glimpse of the future. A glimpse of you're potential. Thank God for hearing my prayers. Thank God for putting wise people around me. Thank God for opening my eyes and ears to wisdom. Lord, you say in your word those who lack wisdom shall ask from you. Lord, I'm not satisfied, I want to grow more in your wisdom every single day.