If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.: July 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
「 dancing away Tuesday, July 22, 2008 」


I cried on the bus today. I cried while walking home. I'm crying at 3.25am right now. I'm sooooo freaking angry. so upset. My dream is on the verge of bursting. We agreed on so many things. On the verge of getting the place. And just of cos of one stupid supper club, everyone's backing up. Nobody's thinking that it will work, but me. I dunno, I just know it will work, why cant you guys see it? Am I really too optimistic? Or just that I have the guts you don't have? Why bother telling me you want the alternative, want to be different in the first place? Why bother telling me your interested in my concept? Just because they are opening, just because they are a big name in the western world, does that mean you must give up without even a fight? Why did you said it's impossible without even thinking of what will make it possible? I freaking hate working with wimps. I've seen too many. ARgGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHH
I will still try to make it happen whether you're in it or not.
now, without money, without support, without experience. What can I do?

What should I do.........

now, nobody should say the word impossible or cannot be done or any freaking bloody word that's along this line to me over the next few days, I can't promise that I won't screw you up.

I sooo feel like spilling colourful language all over the place....

#@$(#@!!)@&***@!#$#)(*&_)*&*(%


Sunday, July 20, 2008
「 dancing away Sunday, July 20, 2008 」


ha.. u must be wondering why I'm update so quickly today.. read on and u will know why. :D

Was slacking at my stall just now with my sis, then auntie farra (the owner of my neighbour stall) called me over, " girl, come. you interested in this coming event..blah blah.."

Me: " Yea, sure. When is it? ... "

First of all, she's so nice. Despite of the poor business lately, she always look out for me. Like find business opportunities for me, help me think of ideas for food, help me source for items.. a very generous lady in short.

Anyway, after the mini biz talk, she continued, " Girl, what's your name.. I forgot."

Me: O, Ya Ting
Auntie: Yati? You Indonesian huh?
Me: No no.. I'm not, I'm Ya Ting. It's a Chinese name.
Auntie: O.. but sounds very Indonesian. What does your name mean?
Me: Hmm.. It's suppose to mean something like.. graceful, elegant..
Auntie: O.. that's a beautiful name.. yea.. indeed.. you're graceful in many ways. How true
Me: (HEEE) Thank you

Auntie: O, Ya Ting, that boy your boyfriend is it?
Me: No la, not my bf
Auntie: Not your bf? Then you have bf now?
Me: No, don't have
Auntie: *pause* Sure or not? How old are you?
Me: Hmm.. soon 22.
Auntie: 22. It's about time. And you so pretty, how come no bf?
Me: :D haa.. don't know lei. Haven't met nice guy.
Auntie: How come, so pretty should be able to get bf easily ma. You prefer locals or foreigners?
Me: Hmm.. dunno. Actually I have no preference. But if u have to ask, I think foreigners. Locals not really my type, like all too.. I dunno how to say, like.. down to earth, boring. Not my type
Auntie: Actually there's a lot of good local guys too (here's the major point).. Just that none cross our path that's all.. hahahah!
Me: hahaa.. that's true.

I think auntie farra is ultra optimistic. (ops, no offense guys.. hee)

Anyway, the conversation continued, she keeps praising me until my face almost turned red. More importantly, I got to know her better. She's not just any Malay auntie, I was surprised to find out that she travels a lot and is very well educated (in every sense), have great connections, and is a very wise and knowledgeable person. She also has an adopted daughter, other than her own children. It's amazing how our conversation can go from daily small talk like the latest 7pm Korean drama, to discussion of Singapore's history, to philosophical topics on love, sufferings, family values and to even some very personal advice. To be frank, I was really touched. It felt like a mother daughter conversation. Her genuineness and love can be felt tangibly. Haven't have such a heartening and simple chat in a long time. That's why I simply have to keep this in my heart..

Oo.. I saw that cute guy I just knew last week today.. Sooooo handsome! And macho(literally, has big arms and chest)! but sad that he's a little short :(
He's such a gentleman la (at least for first impression), he initiated to help me do stuff without me asking the other day. and he smile so charmingly.. ahh. havent met such a good looking person, yet with great character and still single(i think so. at least I hope so) in history of mankind!

o.. I saw him just now and kept looking at him. But when he saw me, I quickly turn away.. pretend to be bz.. how stupid....... haha. should have just get him over to talk. haiz.. wasted.. but auntie farra, who knows I will intro him to you one day. =D muahahaha!


Friday, July 18, 2008
「 dancing away Friday, July 18, 2008 」


hey hey.. yea. have been really bz lately. with crazy exams, I'm offered a one time biz opportunity at fireworks festival and of course.. in the mist of setting up another business. Really not easy, I thought after setting up one, second one will be easier. But it's not exactly the case.. the same fear, the same certainty is still there. We have great business concept, great partners, talented people and associates.. but kept questioning ourselves, is this a good location? what if people don't come? what if people don't like our food? what if we need the cashflow? on and on and on.. in a way, it a good thing.. acknowledging that your limitations (in a healthy way) make you cant help to realise how human you are, how you need to depend on and believe in something greater than reality. Yes, without God, all these wont have happened, I won't have the courage to come so far. Now, I really need to overcome the fears and the stress. I think im showing a lot of signs of being over stressed:
1) not paying attention to what people says to me
2) very forgetful (sometimes I cant even tell which is left or right hand.. yea.. tt bad)
3) response indifferently to difficult situation
4) unknowingly throw little tamtrum

oo.. this is not very good man.. from tan ya ting to lao hu ting. tsk tsk..

so many things to handle.. so many things i dont understand. so many frictions. so many unsatisfaction. maybe all these are part of growing up. maybe this is the season where my character will be greatly tested and moulded. maybe this is the beginning of something beyond my wildest dreams.

just want to note this down. happen to look at my notebook the other day. glanced at the cover of it and saw what I wrote at the bottom at the beginning of this year:

this is the year of promotion.

mixed feelings. a bit of aching bcos of many regrets. missed many chances of promotion.. yet on the other hand, a larger part of me is feeling all excited. I don't know how to explain this but I know, many things are coming my way.. so excited.. at the same time concern that I'll get too distracted and lose my way..


O.. saw the houses on sentosa on TV, i forgot the name of the property.. clove something one(if you know pls tell me).. it's super beautiful!! my dream home, it's like a semi detached and you have a backyard slope to the beautiful waters, with no gates and you can park your yatch right there!! it's like a mini park by the sea.. omygoshhhh... it's sooo beautiful you know. the sight of the place, even in my mind's eye makes my heart skips a beat..OK, now my next target is to get that place in 5years. then I can go fishing all I want! =D