If it was a mistake, it was a beautiful one.
Monday, March 24, 2008
「 dancing away Monday, March 24, 2008 」


Watched Leap Years few weeks back. I kind of find the ideas in the story inspiring and thought provoking. Yes, I really love the philosophy behind it, but i don't really like the plot. A bit over fairy tales and cliche. And the ending is too predictable. And worst of all... the man became soooo ugly when he grew old!! so sad...

Anyhow, even though I don't exactly like the plot, I can certainly identify with the character played by Wong Liling. As in, my attitude towards, life, love, relationship and faith, is similar to that portrayed by her character. The noble, almost ridiculous but genuine faith. That people might mock but you know it's real. That I have a purpose larger than reality. That I am mend to do much greater things than this. That there's just that someone out there who's mend for me, that someone whom I know that if I were to ever meet him, I will know that I know that he's the one. There's no need for the random seek and trial. But the eager wait and look out.

I'm not any sort of guru. But I've began to see greater light in things. I use to have a naive belief that first guy I meet, he will be the last too. And then, of cos things didn't work out and I concluded(or rather I tried to deceived myself)that such happy endings are only fairy tales far far away. That it's almost impossible to find lasting relationship anymore. That there is a need for the trial and error.That there's a need for many heart breaks before you may even find one.

But somehow, the more I tell myself that, the more I realise I'm deceiving myself. Every time when I thought of just giving in, and just get into a relationship casually. Something in my heart will make me feel sick about it. Telling me that, nah, come on, you know better than this. I cant betray my heart. I cant make use of other's trust. It's tempting. But I just cant do it.

Somehow, over that last five years, I realise that it was just a journey of trial. Frankly, I am amazed that I'm still holding on to a form of my so called naive believe. I realise that.. it's not that naive after all. I really do believe in what I believe in. The next one will be the last one.

I didn't regret knowing you though, you made me realised a side of me I didnt know. I only regretted that I didnt know better, as much as you didnt.

Why am I talking about this? Because one of my goals is to get married by 23! And time is running out! muaHahhahaa!!!
Where are you?? :(